Thursday, December 31, 2009

is there morphine in this chapstick?

I have pain killa lips gurr.

so I'm ending the year with
- THE bestest boi everrrrr.
- Enrollment at a sick alternative art school.
- a mother who is not on swarovski crystal meth.
- this bitchen friend named Jessica Haynes who is coming to viist me.
-and a shitty hair cut (but that's okay because I look artsy in a disgustingly dirty hipster sort of way)
happy 2010.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I should've taken acid with you


I had a really good day
despite the car ride with my dad at the end . . .
this seriously came out of fuckin' nowhere:


dad: so is he your boyfriend?

me: he who?

dad: you know who.

me: dad, I only hang out with gay boys. Are you talking about Eric?

dad: No. The kid with a beard.

me: . . Dakota?

dad: Yes.

me:Nahh, he and I are just chill.

dad: Does he like you?

me: I'm a very conceited person, of course I'm gonna yes. . . you raised me . . .

dad: so he does?

me: mehhhhhh. I don't know.

dad. Yess you do, girls pick up on this stuff after 30 seconds.

me: Why are you so suspicious of him exactly?

dad: he has a beard.

me: I appreciate your logic, dad.

dad: do you like him?

me: I'm going to take it that any answer is as bad as a yes?

dad: smart kid.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Feeling inspired

i normally don't write very much,
unless it's about my feelings.
but . . .
dakota inspired me sooooooooooooooooooo
ima write.

The LED clock on the cable box had an eleven, two dots-one on top of the other, and a thirty seven. in that order.
when lola looked at the clock in the semi dark living room, she saw it with a blurry black border flickering the way her eyes did after she'd cry. because that's what she had just done. another thing you would've seen if you were lola are little spots around the few beams of light in the dark room. she squinted her eyes so the beams looked longer and then she tilted her head so the beams looked as if they were gonna poke raven, who sat in a fetal position on the couch directly across from the one lola layed curled up on. raven flinched. lola pretended it was because she had just been hit by a yellow beam of light. raven stretched out so her long legs hung slightly over the end of the shredded brown couch. lola tried to zap her again with another yellow beam of light that came from the crack above their mom's doorway, but it didn't reach this time. lola squinted as much as she could without completely shutting her brown eyes, but the beams still didn't touch raven.
she was pissed.
between the two couches was a coffee table with a remote to a broken tv with a black screen, an ash tray, an empty coors light, and a syringe that the sister were told not to touch.
the clear glass ashtray was in reaching distance to lola, so that's what she strained herself to grab. her fingers brushed the side of it pushing it further away. she sat up and reached again nearly throwing herself on the couch. nothing, but brushing the tips of her fingers along the top of the table. third try, she hooked her finger around the rim of the ashtray and pulled it closer.
a soft sound of the ashtray being dragged on the table was the only thing to be heard. raven gritted her teeth at the interrupted silence and rolled over so her back was turned to her sister and all she could see were the wrinkles in the cushion that made the back of the sofa. she could still hear it. the minute she tuned it out
lola had dropped it on the floor causing it to break. both of them sat up immediately startled at the sound. raven shot up faster.
"what the hell is wrong with you!?!?!?!?!?!"
anger gave her a glow that lola couldn't make beams out of.
lola reached down and picked up the biggest piece of glass she could make out off the dusty floor and threw it directly across from her, at her sister.
she missed and the broken glass shattered again, against the wall, three feet behind raven.
the yellow line above the door to their mom's room just made a triangle and two other beams were connected it this time.
"don't let them see you're awake. . . . "
raven choked those words out like they would soon become famous last words.
both the two girls shut their eyes and pulled whatever blankets they had around them.
after that moment, silence was a thing of the past.
there was dark laughter,
coughing,
quiet background music that couldn't be made out,
breathing, and the voices of two unfamiliar men.
"look at em"
footsteps
shaking, lola tried squinting again only this time to see two burly silhouettes of two strangers standing behind the couch where raven lay, almost as if they were
watching her.
"that bitch ain't asleep"
"the smaller one?"
"yeah. she fakin it"
lola shut her eyes when the footsteps grew closer to her.
raven, filled with fear, bit down on her pillow as hard as possible until she could feel her teeth tear through the weaves of thread,making a ripping sound.
"it's not worth it. she's, what? five?"
"thanks, man. you're right. what about the older one. she sleepin?"
dark laughter.
"not for very much longer"
dark laughter.
a warm hand vigorously grabbed raven's neck from behind.
she closed her eyes tighter so she didn't have to see evil for itself.
the hand grabbed tighter and the other one had ahold of her thigh. and it forcefully turned her so she lay on her back.
the hands were now around her waist.
dark laughter.
glass breaking.
smokey breath was exhaled in her face, she closed her eyes tighter and tried not to breathe the devils oxygen.
and evil laughed.
he pulled her up off the couch so only the bottoms of her legs rested on it.
evil pulled one hand off her waist and stroked her cheek bone.
"princess, are you sleeping?"
dark laughter
"answer me dammit. are. you. sleeping?"
no more dark laughter, only frustrated breathing.
raven had forgotten how to move her mouth
"i'll ask you one more time . . ."
a desperate cry for a mother was let out of the little girl's body
different voice
"wrong move"
all raven could feel was a hand hit hard against her cheek and the side of her head smashing against the the sofa's wooden arm rest.
the heat from the smack spread all around her face.
this time she opened her eyes.
The LED clock on the cable box had a three, two dots-one on top of the other, and a thirty one. in that order, and the two dots blinked.
and so did ravens eyes, because she wasn't squinting.
her sister,
was passed out on the other couch.
when raven looked at the clock, there was a puffy black border around only one side because it hurts to cry after you've had the shit slapped out of one side of your face.

There are bruises on my body and I know exactly how they got there, but if you asked me I'll say that I don't

Yesterday= bodacious
legit.
I'm gonna post pictures as soon as i find the usb for my camruh.
it started at the market
then,
the crystal bridge,
hotel roanoke,
RANDOM PITCHER ON THE GROUND,
the market again,
the streets,
the gap between two buildings,
the mlk bridge,
the corner store,
the *playground,
the market,
that little store,
and ended with the taubman.
and it was good.

*the playground was my fave (:
(i'm seriously a five year old)

Friday, December 25, 2009

Thursday, December 24, 2009

I cannot believe this:

blue and magenta were gay for each other.
my entire childhood was a lie, awesome.







bella and sebastian are also gay for each other

>>><3

I'ma let you finish . . .but KAY DEE <33 is the best GRRRl friend




Playdough hardens if it gets left out of it's yellow container too long.
People aren't much different.
it smells funny too.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

This was my day . . .

*i walk to door so i can leave to go hang out with dakota after waiting since saturday to do so*

mombie: *brushes past me* i'm leaving to get my hair done, see you in a few hours

me: BULLSHIT!!!!!! (i didn't actually say that aloud though)

after four hours of waiting the car pulls up into the driveway

me:*rushes upstairs to change clothes and heads for the door, texting dakota*hi mombie! love you bye!

mombie: i was planning on going back out blahblahblahblahblahblahblahmotherfuckingblah

dad: guess we're not leaving (yelling at this point)

mombie: blahblahblah it's my car. i bought it blahblahblah dollar tree blahblahblah sonofabitch

dad: *yelling obscenities, brings up bad things from the past*

me: please just give me a ride. i haven't asked for anything in the past five days and i'm incapable of getting myself places. pleassssssssssse for the love of god.

mombie: *indirectly calls me a bitch and begins to cry*

me: i'm leaving now byyyye. *leaves house*

i can't wait to have grandkids so i can tell them that i walked three miles uphill in the snow for some godamn dunkin' doughnuts
because that's exactly what i did
it wouldn't have been bad at all, except i didn't grab a warm jacket or shoes when i left because it would have ruined my dramatic exit

she never ate her limited edition holiday deck the holes doughnut either ):<

Ugly duckling

religion isn't about god, it's solely about the followers. it gives them a way to increase the value on mortality.

on that note,
MERRY POLITICALLY CORRECT CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY




arms are important . . .

left arm:
-7 freckles
-6 scars
-one birthmark
friendship bracelets-
-brezzy
-taytay
-morgasm
- julia
-jesse
-katie
-two scars on wrist (friendship bracelets w/ life)
-chipped, blue nail polish

Right arm:
-3 freckles
-4 scars
-2 cuts
-neon orange ponytail holder
-black and yellow sex bracelet
- no nail polish


left arm definitely wins

Monday, December 21, 2009

boredom compels everybody . . .

Jizzy and me did this everyday in spanish last year, you can see why we passed

1. put your ipod on shuffle
2. for every question, type the name of whatever song comes up

SOUNDTRACK FOR MY LIFE …
opening credits:
it's armature night at the appollo creed- cobrastarship

waking up:
a hard rains gonna fall- bob dylan

first day at school:
lake of fire- nirvana

Detention:
1901- phoenix

falling in love:
the carpal tunnel of love- fob

lose virginity:
kids- mgmt (LOL!!!)

breaking up:
someone great- lcd sounds

bootycalls:
jellyrolls- the unicorns

prom:
walk on the wild side- lou reed

life’s okay:
piazza the new york catcher- belle and sebastion

mental breakdown:
the man who sold the world- nirvana

driving:
traffic light- the tingtings

flashback:
one more cup of coffee- bob dylan

getting back together:
the end- the beatles

highschool graduation:
she don't use jelly- the flaming lips

college:
just like heaven- the cure

epic adventure in amsterdam:
what happened- sublime

wedding:
about a girl- nirvana

prison break:
shadow stabbing- cake

birth of child:
jenny was a friend of mine- the killers

final battle:
the new pollution- beck

death scene:
sunday, bloody, sunday- u2

funeral song:
phantom limb- the shins

rising up from your grave:
psycho killer

end credits:
plastic sun- sonic youth

holy jesus, this made my day

Sunday, December 20, 2009




LOO SCiD DREE MiH iNG



lucid dreaming has to be the trippies thing that can occur without taking hallucinogens .
a lot of researchers who study dreams have drawn parallels between lucid dreaming and out-of-body experiences.
i seriously just experienced one of the two a few hours ago when i tried to nap off a migraine.

during the dream ( or whatever the hell it was ), i had been looking at myself from another body
*note: my bedroom was completely dark and silent therefore knocking out two senses*
and this went on for quite a while
until the snow plows came down the street and i thought they were in my head.
the noises were so loud and vibrant and there was no light at all.
when i woke up nothing had changed besides the time on the clock and my headache was gone.
so naturally i checked my phone for anything new and i guess during that time i had a full conversation via text with dakota that i have no memory of.
so basically, i have been sitting in my bed for the past hour trying to piece together whatthefuck just happened and how i can do it more often without drugs.

after doing further research i learned that the dreamer does not typically carry out actions of daily life, but does experience the floating above bed, loud noises, hypnotic feelings, and such that i felt . . . Some of the studies had shown that the dreamer is many times suffering from an illness (migraine?). i think this would be a key factor because it gives a reason for the being to want to the leave their physical body

Lucidity.com has been my best friend in researching this phenomenon

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Epic Win List (or hipster list)


25 things to do before the school year ends.

1. not make starfucker t-shirts . . hannah montana power half an hour instead
2. schnarf at the mall
3. roll down a hill in a snuggie
4. photo expedition
5. EASY BAKE oven brownies
6. white rabbits
7. watermelon jack-OH!-lanterns
8. --too much for publicity--
9. secret places
10. camp out in basement
11.hit up all the good wills in one day
12.hide-n-seek in walmart
13. full body sharpie tattoos
14. dye hair purple
15.iraq
16. trail of bed crumbs in the woods
17. frisbee at night time ( plus strobe light action )
18.a*** c***buildabears
19. light buildabears on fire
20. go to cathedral and get baptized
21. finger painting
22.build a fort
23. get fake afros and go to the skating rink
24. dress up like ninjas and go to a chinese buffet
25. KIM POSSIBLE MARATHON BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Follow up dot dot dot

this is the attractive face that i make when my grammombie's computer decides to be a bitch.
personally, i think it's going through menopause.
the point is:
i just made that face.thanng happened.
This bum walked up to d and me asking for a light, and dakota being a good samaritian lended him a lighter, and this muthafuckah lit a joint like right in our faces and bounced right that second.
then we went to snag aeisha.
i am too paranoid to post everything that happened,
so i'll just leave it at that (:

that was my night in a nutshell.

peacegod!

Why's the rum always gone?

I feel like I haven't blogged in a thousand, one hundred gazzzlion and 87 years mahn.
which has some truth behind . . .
anywho,
i've decided to post a furhreal post about some actual important subject mater.
(not that my "lasie eto i fucking love you" posts weren't significant)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So i moved to the "noke" (i think it's an old person term . . .? idk)
and life stopped sucking for the most part.
and i like school now for the most part.
and i have some pretty dankass friends for the most part ((((:
and i sortof stopped doing sports for the most part.
and i've been on a silversun pickups/ sonic youth/ kanye west binge for the most part.
and i'm currently mind blown for the most part
and i'm gonna shift my flowy writing for the most.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
according to dakota i'm a "hipster"
i'm don't agree necessarily
although it is somewhat true,
but it's better than being labled as a scene kid or a neon or some shit,
just saying.
i thought that was blog worthy
what do i know?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had a rather orgasmic night
and i was befuddled when i realized that
dakota fanning and peyton manning rhyme.
is that crazzzzzzzzey or what?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?
him and i had this conversation while gazing at an intersection
and the sexy roanoke civic center.
The way the led lights shown on the cement building under the moonless sky on a thursday night was david blane mindblowing, you know?
there are simply no words to describe how romantic it was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i have very little time to write,
sooooo
i'm gonna end this with
STARFUCKER SUCKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
THEY'RE STUPID PUBLICITY THRIVING INDIE DORKS




Saturday, October 17, 2009

happiness is a warm gun


"Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details."- Andy Warhol

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Aye



It's my BiTHdaYY. hOLLa

Thursday, September 17, 2009

about me:



I like it when the walls breathe,
because the room is alive.
I like it when my heart skips a beat
because you left me
standing breathless
and the palpitations are because of you.
I like knowing constellations
because I know more about the universe.
I like stars
because they look so tiny,
but they're actually pretty fuuuuu*****ing big.
I like blinking things into focus
because the world suddenly becomes clear
I like you.


Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Sunday, August 30, 2009

I'D LIKE TO GIVE A SHOUTOUT TO LASIE LALALALOVE


YO SWEETUMS TEXT MEH AIGHT?!
I EFFIN MISS YA FACE SO LEMME KNOW IND WEH CAN iCHAT
KAY SHEXXY MAMAH?!
UNDASüD

Friday, July 24, 2009

Hollinsummer





I miss it already and it's only been but a few hours since I left

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Colorificness


This is what I'm gonna miss when I leave.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I'm not sure if I think it's funny or sad that weed brings people together more than jesus . . .

<--that's my gnarly bruise from a doorknob
peace god!☮

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Friday, June 5, 2009

iLoveYou


I really wish I had said this sooner.
I really think that things would be better.
So what if you don't care.
I know I'm not a priority,
(believe me, I know)
and that somewhere buried beneath those pain killers,
you love me.
Katie- you make it so hard to accept an apology.
I know I should've said this sooner.
You're so predictable that your actions could be scripted.
Don't slur those lies.
I would hate for you to choke on those promises you could never keep
By the way,
you're a burden from your head to your feet.
I should've forgave you sooner,
because I probably won't now.
One more thing; I lied when I said that you were never a thorn in my side.
or another secret to hide.
I really should've said this sooner,
because I won't ever say it again
ever.
The End.





Saturday, May 23, 2009

human art projects



no matter what it is that we paint over, the true colors still lie underneath, and no matter how hard we try to cover it up with something prettier-something better. . . .you can break the surface, but its not broken util you've broken the core
n

LOVE ME DEAD


freshmen year is over at last
check it

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Cotton Mouth


Smoke, smoke, smoking weed.
Look at you Mr. Cottonmouth king.
god, i wish i was half as awesome as you


not.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Look at my life












i still miss lasie, kelly and my other home dawgy dawgs (:

Time never dies- everlasting

like Jesus?????
yesssss dear, like Jesus.
I wish I had more time to write because I have a lot to say.
I just don't have the time or wifi to do it with.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Playing With Fire



Light the fire.
Let the flames rise.
Higher,
Brighter,
Hotter,
until the flame burned blue.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Everthing's Happening So Fast

MGMT is complete ear candy.
"Tinseltown is coming like a giant bleeding heart,
and I'm so mad, well these kids try to be funny man.
Well I don't think it's happened much,
so we must destroy your art,
and you'll be glad that you stopped sinning,
and stopped caring about trying to do
new things are a dream that every single person has,
and it's not real."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy
LASIE ETO IS MY SEXY LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so lets be completely random (kayyyyy?)
and filled with spontaneous outbreaks of song
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
pretty day [:

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Soundless Screams


Listen to me scream,
Listen to my cry for help.
Listen over and over again until all you hear is,
Silence.
A comforting annoyance that's driven by NOTHING,
and yet people yearn for it.
Listen to the whispers of forgotten souls,
Listen to the voices of people who never existed.
Listen for sounds that aren't truly there.
Hear things that were never meant to be heard.
Watch as meaningless figures open their mouths
to let out screams in frustration to fill empty noise,
and all you can hear is are soundless screams
welcoming you into reality.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Kat Von D






Kat Von D is seriously my hero. No Joke

Saturday, March 7, 2009

here i am


So here it is,
the post that I've been meaning to post for the past few weeks.
My world has changed this week tremendously between apartments to my outlooks towards the world itself.
The people that I thought I truly knew are uncovering layers that I thought had never existed to begin with, and then there's the people who are constantly trying to impress people that they "don't give a crap about".
"I don't know whats right and whats real anymore, I don't how I'm meant to feel anymore"- Lily Allen

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Fare well My Dinky Apartment, I'll never forget you.

I will never forget all the "that's what she said" jokes that came out of the random wall buttons or the lock on the front door, or all the creepy supernatural things that have gone on over the past year, or telling the line ghosts off with jesse, or bloody zombie who lives in my attic (lol), or all the random visitors after school, this is good bye my old stupid apartment.

Friday, February 27, 2009

The (bitter) Taste of Ink



Today was a most glorious day.
Not really,
but there were a few high lights of my week from today.
EX: the "fizzy fresh, ultra fly, half black guy"
(not a racist joke),
sprinting home in the freezing rain with a sense of freedom flowing through my veins,
that one special text *wink wink*,
and just the fact that its friday at last.
I did however make a complete idiot of myself at play practice.
:/

I think I laughed harder than i ever have last night when lasie, em, and I three wayed a facebook account and harassed mofo.
I love you guys like you wouldn't believe.

Thursday, February 26, 2009